The Long A.A.R.M. of Steve O...

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Aimless Assemblage of Rambling Musings of an
over-caffeinated, slightly ajar yet well-meaning writer.

Taking the FUN out of Fundamental...
The one and only Yogi Berra once said "Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical."

It's hard to argue with that kind of Pretzel Logic, or any other Steely Dan album title. And yesterday, we were reminded once again that in sports, much like the real world, those who have the mental aptitude to stare down defeat in the face and rise to the proverbial occasion, are those that will more often not win every battle they find themselves in.

I'm referring to the 2009 Masters. Kenny Perry, God love him, stared down defeat and pressure for 70 holes and the whole world wondered aloud, 'what'ya think? He wears like a 44 long, right?'

Unfortunately the Masters is played over 72 holes and not 70, and hence someone else ended up being fitted for a green jacket and not Kenny.

Up 2 shots with 2 to play to win the biggest tournament in the sport, Kenny Perry imploded. Face it, Angel Cabrera did not win the Masters, Kenny Perry lost it.

Knowing all he needed to do was to shoot par on 18th, Kenny Perry self-destructed.

Paraphrasing Billy Joel...

"But here you are on the 18th
Up 1 one, just need a par to wear the green
Nowhere to look but inside
Where we all respond to
Pressure"

Look, I do not mean to come down on Kenny Perry. Face it, most of us would have responded the same way. There are only so many Tiger Woods and Michael Jordans in the world.

So, for 70 holes, Kenny Perry was having a whole lot of fun.

For the 4 holes subsequent, Kenny's fun-damentals folded under the pressure.

All You Zombies...
Did you catch this one? I swear I wish I could make this stuff up, but fortunately I don't need to.

Former Cheers star Woody Harrelson had another (yes another) run in with a TMZ photographer, this time at a New York airport this past Wednesday night. And he blamed his actions thusly:

"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

Quite understandably?

Woodman, would love nothing more than to defend you in this as truth be told, the photog is the quintessential paparazzi - annoying, insulting, rude, crass and on and on.

But this is the best you can do re: an excuse?

What if Jack Nicholson was "still very much in character" after filming The Shining and arrived at the airport wielding an hatchet screaming "Heeeere's Johnny!"

Actually that would have been kind of cool. Ok, I'm kidding! Lighten up!

If you haven't seen the video, it's quite hilarious and disturbing at the same time.


Til next time.

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The Long A.A.R.M. of Steve O...

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Way, way back in 2002 I penned a column on Customer Service. It appeared in some local (Philly/South Jersey) mags and I received quite a bit of response to it.

For some reason, on this particular day, I feel the need to dust the cobwebs off it and share it again.

“Can Anyone Help Me?”
(the demise of Customer Service in America)
By Steve Olenski
© 2002

“We are here on earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” - W.H. Auden

Customer Service. The dictionary defines the word customer as a person who buys goods or services, especially on a regular basis. The word service, as used in this context, is defined as an act of assistance or benefit to another or others.

My father — God rest his soul, worked for 35 years in the A&P supermarket chain. The last position he held up until his retirement was that of District Supervisor — which in those days was a very powerful one in that he had a group of stores where he controlled nearly everything but price. In fact, just about everyone in my family at one point or another in their life worked in a supermarket. Three of my brothers, my sister and myself all met their future and current spouses in, where else? ... a supermarket.

My father would always preach to us that price was not necessarily the driving factor behind which particular supermarket a consumer would patronize. While he did admit price certainly played a role, he constantly preached that the two things people looked for was a clean store and good (customer) service. He swore by this: If you provide a clean location, are nice to people and treat them right, they won’t mind paying a little more for their groceries.

Now understandably a clean store or location does not apply to all services. For example, we don’t care that an auto mechanic keeps an untidy garage. But we should expect to receive quality customer service from that mechanic. In fact we demand it — and if we don’t demand it, we should. It is every customer’s right to expect good customer service. And I’m not just referring to saying “thank you” after we make a purchase. That’s not enough. That’s being re-active. I mean taking the time, depending on the service or goods being purchased, to be pro-active. To inquire of us, the customer, if there’s anything else they — the employee, could help us with. If we understand how to use that tool we just rented or bought, or ‘Would you care to see the matching pillow cases that go with the sheets you just bought?’ or ‘Is there anything else I can help you with today?’

I don’t think this is asking too much. Do you?

Remember the definition for customer? A buyer of goods or services on a regular basis. The operative words being regular basis. What most companies seem to have lost sight of is that their ultimate success or failure is based on the repeat customers, not the ones who try their product, service, etc., once and move on.

If you have had a bad experience with a company due to poor customer service — are you ever going to go back? Probably not.

I don’t really know when we as a society got like this — that receiving good customer service became the exception rather than the rule. But that’s exactly where we’re at, and it’s unfortunate. Now this isn’t to say that all customer service is bad. There have been reported incidents where someone actually received quality customer service. These reports cannot be confirmed at this time. I’m exaggerating of course. It’s just that receiving good customer service is the exception — or better still, rare.

In the past few years I have had experiences with some major companies and the customer service I received was, for lack of a better term, mind-boggling. I don’t know any other way to describe it. Not surprisingly my family, friends and co-workers have also had some truly amazing incidents involving major companies and the complete lack of quality customer service.

NOTE: By no means is poor customer service reserved only for larger companies.

Now there must be some explanation for this. Is it that companies just don’t care anymore? No, I don’t think it’s that. At least the optimist in me hopes that’s not the case. No, what I think is at the root of this ever-growing epidemic is quite simply this: the majority of companies, Mom & Pop stores and smaller companies aside, are hiring more and more younger and inexperienced employees. Not surprisingly they
have a very high turn-over rate, meaning these companies take the approach of ‘why bother to train them, if they’re not going to stay anyway?’ Of course, all of this leaves you and I to... well, fend for ourselves.

To sum up, the words “customer service,” when used together, is a misnomer of sorts. There will always be buyers of goods and services. What type of assistance they receive is another story.

Til next time.

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I'm All Over The Place...

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random - having no particular pattern, purpose, organization, or structure.

That's my stance today. Gonna tackle multiple issues today. Why? Because I can, that's why!

• Are there really Phillies fans predicting the ultimate demise of the 2009 season after a grand total of one game? Lord a'mighty people, you all need to chill. I mean like an arctic, South Pole kind of chill. It was one FREAKIN game! Inhale. Exhale. Sing it with me "The sun'll come out tomorrow..."
  

• Did Hubert Davis really say on the Mike & Mike Show on 950ESPN this morning that he thinks Tyler Hansbrough will have a 12-15 year NBA career? Hubert, step away from the Chapel Hill Kool Aid and get a dose of reality? 12 - 15 years? Does the name Eric Montross ring a bell? I know, I know, Tyler is MUCH more athletic than the Herman Munster-esque Montross, right? Stop it. He's had a great college career. Probably good enough for enshrinement in the College Basketball Hall of Fame. But 12-15 years in the bigs? If he makes it 7 years, you may need to shock me back into consciousness.

• I am starting to think that I, my children, my wife and extended families and perhaps my 2nd Grade Teacher Mrs. Shuttlecock (not her real name) are the only ones on all of God's green Earth who are NOT labeling themselves as Social Media Experts or authorities or even buffs! Jeezus, enough already. I Facebook. I Linked In. I even Twitter when the mood is right but enough is enough is enough. I get it! Social Media. Information content created by people using highly accessible and scalable publishing technologies. It is intended to facilitate communications, influence interaction between peers and with public audiences. But I swear if I get one more f'ing email or Facebook nod, prod or whatever the hell it's called or even a freaking Tweet from someone claiming to be a Social Media guru, I'm gonna have to get medieval.

• Finally, I felt compelled to share this very sad story. It has to do with an untold effect the war in Iraq and the other American military endaeavors takes on those NOT on the front lines.

Til next time.

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I'm All Over The Place...

This Brand Is Your Brand - Part Deux

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On Wednesday, I wrote about how much fun one can have with an iconic brand.

Building off that iconic brand topic...

Another way to tell when a brand has reached icon status is when that same brand becomes synonymous with the entire product itself.

For example, when you cut yourself, what's the first you reach for? A band aid, that's right. But not just ANY band aid, you reach for a Band Aid band aid. No one ever gets cuts and says "Ouch, I need a Curad!"

When you need to blow your proboscis, what do you reach for? A tissue? Or a Kleenex?
When you want to enjoy a snack consisting of caramel corn and peanuts, what do you reach for?
And finally, when you need to find something on the Net, what do you do? Altogether now... you Google it!

This of course does not mean people do not purchase and/or patronize "cheaper, store-brand" versions of these products. Of course we do.

The point is when a brand becomes the voice and the face of the very line of products it is part of, it has reached the pinnacle, the ultimate in brand awareness.

Now, keeping that same brand fresh and modern and relevant... that's a story for another time.

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This Brand Is Your Brand - Part Deux