Hello My Name Is Jonathan Ass, But You Can Call Me Jack...

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You know there are Jackasses and then there are those who so are Jackassed that they are uber Jackasses; they are Jackasses on steroids; Jackasses 3.0.


I am sorry to be vulgar - not normally so profane but today I am a) tired and b) really tired so I am venting; I am taking my lack of sleep out on some true Jackasses, the pride of Jackass Nation (and I don't mean the MTV show). 


First I give you the law firm of Steven J. Baum. Last year the Jackasses en masse at this firm near Buffalo decided to have themselves a Halloween office party. Hey, it's America, why not?


So all the Jackasses came adorned in their best costumes with visions of the best costume prize dancing in their heads. So far so good, right?


Well... that is until you consider the fact that the law firm of Steven J. Baum, according to an article in the New York Times, is what is commonly referred to as a “foreclosure mill” firm, meaning it represents banks and mortgage servicers as they attempt to foreclose on homeowners and evict them from their homes.


And this is what the staff at the the law firm of Steven J. Baum thought would make for great costumes and fun decorations... 


NOTE: These photos are from last year's party; no photos were available from this year's soiree but really, do you think they would be any different? Course not.... 

Yes sir, that's true human compassion right there boys and girls. Altogether now, ARE YOU FU%#ING KIDDING ME?


Next on the Jack Ass roll call comes the geniuses who run a Safeway Supermarket in Honolulu, Hawaii. 

Seems a family - mother, father & 2-year old daughter, paid them a visit not long ago. The family had just moved to the area from California just two weeks prior so they were still obviously getting to know their way around. 


After paying for their grocery order, which came to $50, they suddenly realized they forgot to pay for the sandwiches they had picked up during their time in the store. 


The woman, Nicole Leszczynski, had in fact eaten one while shopping because well, she was hungry. She put the other sandwich and the wrapper for the one she ate aside but simply forgot them when they checked out. 


Honest mistake for sure... 


What happened next was and still is, inexcusable, incorrigible and downright deplorable. 


The couple, along with their child, were stopped by a security guard about the unpaid sandwiches. Embarrassed they offered to pay the $5 for them and be on their way.


Um no... 


Cue the Jackass part...


According to the AP story:


They were led upstairs, where store managers wouldn't allow them to pay for the sandwiches, Mrs. Leszczynski said. "The security guard said we were being charged with shoplifting."

Four hours later, a police officer arrived and read them their rights. And a woman from the state Child Welfare Services took their 2 year old daughter Zofia away.


Yes, they took their daughter away over $5.


The pregnant mother said she tried to keep her composure until Zofia, who turns 3 in December, left the store. "I didn't want Zofia to be scared because she's never spent a night away from us. She didn't have her stuffed animal. She didn't have her toothbrush."


Can you imagine the damage this did to this poor little girl? 


The couple was handcuffed and driven separately to police headquarters a few blocks away, where they were searched, had their mug shots taken and then released after paying bail. A police officer escorted them back to the store — which banned them for a year, Leszczynski said — where they picked up their groceries and walked home just before midnight.


Are you as incredulous about this story as I am? 


A Jackass, er spokesperson (same thing) from Safeway named Susan Houghton, had this to say about the incident:


"It was never our intent to separate a mother from her child. That was a very unfortunate consequence to this situation." We understand the outrage. We are concerned about how this was handled."


Wow, you're concerned... I bet that makes the Leszczynski feel so much better knowing that you and everyone at Safeway is concerned. 


Tell me something, Ms. Houghton, do you have young children? Have you ever made a mistake in your life? How would your children react to what little Zofia had to endure? 


Altogether now, ARE YOU FU%#ING KIDDING ME?

Til next time...

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Hello My Name Is Jonathan Ass, But You Can Call Me Jack...