The Morning After

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Audio slant...


Good morning my faithful acolytes,

Today we welcome some Eagles fans from F-L-A, the Ft. Lauderdale area I believe. Welcome to The Morning After. Take your shoes off, get comfortable. ALL Eagles fans are welcome here.

In this season that continually is redefining the term "surreal," yesterday may have taken the proverbial surreality cake. It all began at breakfast. Each and every Sunday my wife, kids and I head to the Nifty Fifty's in Bensalem, PA. And despite the fact the manager (Justin) is a staunch Cowboys fan, we always enjoy a fine dining experience. NOTE: Justin is in fact a huuugge Philly sports fan sans football where he inexplicably roots for the 'Boys. Hey, no one's perfect.

So we're there all of five minutes and I needed to go to the little boys room, ask anyone, I have the bladder of a 90 year-old man. On my way, I spot someone wearing an Eagles jersey. Ok, not uncommon, not in the least. However the number/name on the jersey was quite uncommon and downright scary.

The number/name on the back of the jersey was in fact #26/Sheppard. Of course I immediately thought this must either be Lito himself or a relative else why would anyone in their right (or wrong) mind wear a Lito Sheppard jersey?

I wanted to ask the guy wearing it if he was pledging a fraternity and this was his initiation cause he didn't want to swallow 20 goldfish. Or perhaps he lost a bet and this was his penance.

Whatever the case, it was a surreality check for sure.

One last thing on The Shuffle.

Thomas Karr, the self-proclaimed president and sole member of the Lito Sheppard Fan Club has officially resigned his post following the gizzard Lito threw up on Thanksgiving, allowing all 3 Cards TDs.

So welcome Mr. Karr, it took a while, but you finally came to your senses.

Ok, let's get to it...

ONE MO' SURREAL THANG...
Jimmy Johnson, of all people, was the ONLY member of the Fox crew to pick the Eagles to win. Still not sure if this is a good or bad thing but the fact that Jimmy Johnson picked the Eagles fits in perfectly with this season of surrealism.

THE GENIUS THAT IS MQ...
For our new TMAers, allow me to introduce you to MQ, AKA Mark Quinlan. For the last 15+ years, MQ has been directly to my right as we watch every Eagles game. His insight keen, his wit, biting. His financial knowledge, legendary.

Yesterday, MQ's keen insight was en fuego and I'm not even talking about his thoughts on what happened between the lines. Oh no, on this day, MQ was displaying an acumen regarding things in the "real" world.

To wit...

On the Big 3 Automakers and their desire to get billions of OUR money to save their asses...

"I think they should get their money BUT then every single household in America gets a free car... every one. We would get to go to the dealer of our choice, point to a vehicle and say "'I'll take that one.'" That my friends, is pure, unadulterated brilliance.

But MQ didn't stop there.

You know those AT&T spots in which some poor bastard misses a call because he does not have AT&T cellular service?

Yesterday we saw the one where the Action News reporter doesn't get the call to tell him the building implosion zone has been changed to exactly where he is standing. In describing where he should be standing instead of where he was, the reporter uses the term "outskirts of town."

Immediately MQ throws out, "just exactly where are the outskirts of a given town? And who uses the term outskirts anyway?"

I tell you, I don't know you watch Eagles games with, but you'd hard pressed to find any one better than MQ.

COMMERCIAL BREAK...
Speaking of commercials...

Have you seen the new Wal-Mart spot? You know the one. It features two guys standing in a living room admiring a brand new big-screen TV. One guy says to other "You got this at Wal-Mart? No way..." And the 2nd guy responds "Way... all I had to do was stomp some poor bastard to death, well me and 200 other animals."

What, you never saw that version?

Or you didn't hear about the 34 year-old Wal-Mart employee who was trampled to death in Long Island, NY on Black Friday? Here's the whole story...

Wal-Mart...

Save Money.
Live Better.
Die Young.

And speaking of AT&T...
I am on record as being defiantly opposed to any advertiser who has to resort to maligning or disfiguring the human body to move product. Well AT&T apparently never got the memo as they're currently running a spot that shows two thumbs texting on a cell phone but instead of thumbs, we see two human heads.

Tell me it's not just me who finds these types of spots a little unnerving and freaking freakish!

Maybe it's because I'm still traumatized by the scene in the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers where a man's head is on a dog's body.

Two final "non-game" observations... (New TMAers, just so you know, this is the MO for the TMA. The odd, the bizarre, the strange AND then we get to the game. Which of course is often even more odd, bizarre and strange...)

So this new Tom Cruise flick is coming out, Valkyrie, the story of the plot to kill Hitler. Cruise portrays Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg yet for some reason he sounds exactly like Stefen Djordjevic from All the Right Moves.

Did Tommy C not have a dialogue coach? I'm no expert but it seems to be a character named Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg would have just a hint of a Germ accent. Couldn't they have had TC watch some old reruns of Hogan's Heroes or something?

Finally, I give you The Top 10 Coasters. Well, this was a show that was airing on A&E or some other channel during the game. (Hey, we're men, we flip the channel, you do it, too...)

My first inclination upon seeing this title, was to think of my favorite coaster.

It was shaped like an apple and had that pegboard type material in the middle so your glass wouldn't slip and slide.

What's that? It's not THAT type of coaster? Oh, never mind...

Ok, let's get to the game and go...

RAPID FIRE...

* Kevin Curtis' catch in the 1Q was nothing short of spectacular. It would have been gone for even more yardage had the officials not blown the call (among many on the day.) Watch the replay and you will see Curtis is NOT touched when he was on the ground, rather he was touched BEFORE he hit the ground.
* There must not be much wind Down Under as Sav Rocca does not like the wind
* Not one BUT two blocked field goals allowed by the Eagles, one of course leading to the Giants first TD. No matter whom you want to blame, you cannot have this. Period. And speaking of replays, watch the replay of the 2nd blocked FG and tell me just what in the hell was Brent Celek doing the play cause he sure as hell wasn't blocking.
* The Eagles were 12/18 (66%) on 3rd Down Conversions. Yeah, we ALL expected that kind of proficiency, right?
* After getting penalized 7 times in the First Half, the Eagles were flagged only twice in the Second Half
* Quick question. If a 2nd Round WR who is as soft as Charmin, doesn't dress, does anyone notice? Does anyone care?
* LJ Smith had himself a real nice game but why does he insist on carrying the ball as if he needs to keep his other hand free for eating a sandwich or something?
* The most ridiculous, never-ever-works-yet-teams-still-do-it thing in sports? The prevent defense. I realize I am just a fan but for the life of me, I do not understand teams' penchant for allowing the opposition to essentially march down the field when you have stopped them virtually the entire game before. People much smarter than me must know the answer.

THE BOTTOM LINE...
As I said in my Audio Slant, this was a great win against a great team. This team, this Eagles team, continues to defy any sense of logic we all think we have on them. They're deplorable, Donovan and Andy must go to hold on one sec, maybe this team isn't so bad. Maybe this team can get on a run like the Giants did last year and improbable as that would have sounded 3 weeks ago, is looking more and more possible with every passing week.

I for one have no clue what to expect from this team. None.

I say, let's just enjoy the ride because with the Eagles, you know it will be anything but dull.

As always, time's yours. Food's mine.

PS... I do apologize for the "serious" Wal-Mart reference but since I went serious once, another time won't hurt.

Here's a link to a story that I think everyone should read. It appeared in the Sunday Philadelphia Inquirer, front page actually. It's entitled "Smoke and Mirrors, The Subversion of the EPA" and is example number 1,345,635 of the Bush's administration's complete ineptitude and downright despicable actions.

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The Morning After